Carrying Cullen

A Journey of Life, Love, and Daily Blessings with Our Baby Boy

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Be Slow to Speak, Be Mindful of Your Words

An experience that happened to me several weeks ago has stuck with me; hard to brush off, only because it happens so often that I think it's something everyone should be aware of before they do the same thing.

I was in a local food chain restaurant, going to sit down when a women walked up to me and very excitedly asked, "Aww!  When are you due?  How much longer?"  

I replied with a smile, "A couple of months yet."

She looked at me and then my belly and said loudly, "A couple of months?! Wow!  Are you having twins?  You look like you're about ready to pop!"

I nervously laughed and smiled....  because really, what do you say to that?

She proceeded to ask me, "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"It's a girl," I was proud to answer.

"Aw, is this your first, or do you have other children?" she continued asking.

"This is our second, but our first child, our son, passed away a few years ago."

Very quickly she was rendered speechless.  She turned, threw her food away, and walked out the door not saying another word to me.  

I couldn't quite figure out if she was embarrassed or if she wanted to cry.  Perhaps it was both.  Either way, I felt bad I unnerved her or upset her in someway, however, I must say I was very taken back with her exclamation of my basically looking 'huge'.   


But my point and my simple request is this...

Before you look at a pregnant woman and exclaim to her that she looks like she's having twins or maybe that she looks like she's ready to pop, stop and think of the words that are coming out of your mouth.  Think about what she maybe has been through in previous pregnancies.  Think of how what you say may make her feel.  

When someone feels huge or feels like they look huge already, they don't need to hear it.  It's not funny, or cute, or appropriate to say something like that to anyone, let alone a woman who is expecting.  And maybe, just maybe, that woman has experienced infant loss, stillborn, miscarriage, infertility, or something else, and she's just thankful to be pregnant (and huge).  

I don't care how big I am out front, if I look like I'm having twins or gain 30 lbs.  As long as I have a healthy baby to bring home, that's all that matters to me.  I am thankful and blessed to have had the opportunity to carry a child again, and that she is healthy and whole.  I am thankful to have a husband who tells me I'm beautiful regardless and is just as excited and thankful for these things as I am.  

So next time you feel those words, "O my you <insert obsurd statement here>!", stop and remember just to say...

"Congratulations", "You look beautiful", "You're glowing", "God bless you and your baby" or anything sweet, encouraging or positive.  




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